Depression and Music

Hey there guys.

I thought I'd write an article about how music has helped me during some of my darkest hours.

I've suffered with manic depression my entire life. I've had spells where I don't remember what I've done because of my illness. Times where I was in a mental health unit. Times where I thought what I was going through were as good as it would ever get.

I'm not looking for sympathy here, but as I've gotten older, I realize that it's better to give voice to what I'm feeling so I can push through it and get through the rest of the day. In addition to manic depression, I was diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder several years ago. Sometimes it gets to be too much and I just feel completely overwhelmed and go into a state where I just completely disassociate and completely shut down.

I'm sure you're all wondering exactly where I'm going with this. Not 20 minutes ago, I was feeling some serious anxiety, to the point of nausea to where I felt completely sick to my stomach. But instead of wallowing in it, I decided that maybe writing about it would help, so I fired up a playlist in iTunes and now I'm pecking away at this keyboard like a madman.

What I'm saying here is that music is at the very heart of everything I do. I wrote about my setup in here earlier and the one thing I have struggled with in the past is staying out of this room when I'm feeling down. Now I know that if I spend quality time in here that the good vibes in this room will be felt in my heart.

Music has carried me at times when I didn't feel like I had anything left to give. It's just the greatest gift ever. No matter whether I'm listened to Redman's funky raps about how to roll a blunt, the world being against 2Pac, or Aaliyah singing about someone's love going on and on and good feelings, it doesn't matter.

Music has always hit me deep in my heart and soul. I live and breathe it. It's who I am. I just feel it on a deep and emotional level. It can take all the pain and suffering that we deal with everyday and just take us to a great place where good memories abound. It's there for us in a way that people rarely are.

I thank God every day that he gave us talented individuals to give us this thing called music.

I hope this story helped you with something today.

Shout out to my man Drew.

I never could have done this without you.